Tuesday, October 25, 2016

My friend is dead

I haven't written here in a LONG LONG time, but I needed somewhere to get my thoughts out.

My friend has died. He called in sick to work on Friday and was dead on Monday. The autopsy ruled natural causes (thank GOD it wasn't suicide!), but that doesn't stop the pain of loss.
It is one of the hardest deaths I've ever had to deal with. Even though I went to the funeral, which helped some with getting to grips with it, I still feel like it's not reality and I'm in a bad dream.

I just feel LOSS. I grieve for not making the most of the opportunities of friendship I had with him. I grieve for what I'll miss out on with him in the future. I grieve for what his other friends and family will miss not having him in their lives. I grieve for what HE will miss out on, being taken too soon.

I'm firmly in the Denial/Anger/Bargaining/Depression stages of grief.

I came across this article, and loved it. It made me smile.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/danielle-campoamor/2013/05/a-guide-to-surviving-your-best-friends-death/

Deny, Drink, and Lose. Your. Shit.

Yep, that's pretty much what everyone needs in the first stages of loss, whether it's a death, or a break-up.

I'd like to find someone to drink with.

And to Lose. Our. Shit. I've read that there are places where you can pay to smash things up. I think I'd like that. 20 minutes of throwing plates against a wall and bashing things with a baseball bat would do me well, I feel.

Life sucks.

1 comment:

Tom said...

Ouch. I hope there's someone you can lose your shit with.