Lately, I've been thinking a lot about relationships. About why we feel drawn to certain people, about why we love the people that we do, about where that love comes from, and why and how some of those people don't seem to recognise or value that love and even sometimes throw it back in your face, laughing at the hurt they cause you, figuratively spitting in your face and kicking you when you are down.
Loving your enemies, forgiving and turning the other cheek is all well and good. What about "Love the callous jerks, the insensitive bastards, and the selfish heartless assholes that pollute our lives and break our hearts"? What about self preservation and getting out of destructive relationships?
Why is it that sometimes we can't stop caring for the said bastards and assholes who hurt us? Why is it that when we see the hurt deep underneath the callousness we hurt for them, as well as because of the hurt they have caused us.
When it is obvious that someone, a friend, we care about and have invested a lot of time and emotion in really doesn't care a jot about us, it's really hard to let it all go; in some ways it's a denial that we were wrong about that person; wrong about the friendship - it can be hard to admit; hard to accept.
I've never been one to easily give up on a friendship. But does that make me a naive pushover; a hopeless believer that some good exists inside everyone; an idiot who sees the hurter hurting and can't let the person go? Is this just me? Maybe I have a saviour complex. Maybe I'm a co-dependant.
When someone you considered a close friend deliberately and repeatedly hurts you, they are obviously not a friend. Personally, I don't see how people can be so selfish and cruel. The word evil comes to mind.
It makes me sad when friendships change, especially when they die a gruesome death.