Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Being a Slack-ass and Chat Procrastinator

I've finally gotten around to changing my 'location' details.
I do have plans to write a proper post soon.
I do have plans to post pictures soon.
I do have plans to execute these plans.

In the meantime, here is a part of a recent IM conversation with Em. (apologies for any spelling mistakes. It was IM, afterall).

Emma: hola
me: hello!
Emma: eh. not a huge fan of coconut, I wouldn't worry. [sorry - that sentence was from another part of the conversation. I forgot to take it out, and now I've gone back to do a quick proofread, it's so incongruous it's cracking me up; I've got to leave it in]
We're having strog for dinner
me: I LOVE STROG!!!!
I've got to find me some strog mix.
Emma: Mmmm... strog the "Emma way" with four times as much sour cream as is necessary.
me: I'm going to have left over spaghetti.
I need to cook something new.
I have eggs. I wish I had an oven - I could have done quiche
Emma: get one of those little table-top grill/oven combos.
like the one that everyone's nan seems to have. then you can do toasties :D
me: I'm planning to, but it has to wait until I get paid and until I move :(
Emma: fair nuff. they need bake-o-mats, like landromats.
take along your cake, and an hour later you've got baked goods.
me: hehehe
Emma: mmm... bake-o-mat
me: sounds like a franchise idea :)
Emma: lol too right. We could open a chain of bake-o-mats around the country. Huzzah for convenient baked goods!
me: we could go international!!!
Emma: shit yeah. I can see starving college students all over the world wanting cookies... and there we are, Bake-o-mat to the rescue!
"All hail Bake-o-mat, bringer of baked goods!"
WE could have our own cult.
me: we could be mobile - like in the simpsons with the mobile pretzel van
Emma: Hell yeah! That would be so awesome. The vans could play greensleeves :D
me: We could be "the oven van"
yeah! - greensleeves!
Emma: "doo doo, doo doo-de doo doo, doo doo, dah de doo, doo doo de doo doo dee..."
hee hee
me: And our ad could be "do you know the oven van, the oven van, the oven van? Do you know the oven van....something something something" to the tune of the kids' song "the muffin man"
Emma: hell yes. that would be awesome. With dancing muffins.
just to tie it all together.
me: and ovens and other baked goods
Emma: why not just have vans serving baked goods?
me: maybe even a dancing turkey with stuffing coming out of its butt
Emma: bugger the baking service. Baked Deliveries!
"Forgotten it's your child's birthday? Christmas crept up on you? Never fear, the BakeVan is here! Bringing you baked and roasted goods since two twenty-somethings got bored and chatted online!"
me: mmm - catchy
Emma: innit just!
Maybe we should start a campaign for the Oven Van.
me: except, people could just zip out and buy a cake at the cheesecake shop
We need to target people's lack of self-control.
Emma: but if they're at an office party after hours... where are they gonna get the cake from if people forgot it?
Or if it's 3am and the pregnant missus wants roast turkey??
me: It's like Mr Whippy. You may not intend to buy or need an icecream, but if you hear the dingle bells, you go out to the street and get one
we need to be like that. If people order something, theen we still need to make it and deliver it. The cheesecake shop already delivers, doesn't it?
Emma: yeah. Freshly roasted turkey with jacket potatoes, sweet potato, beans, carrots, and succulent stuffing.
dammit I'm hungry. I wish R would get off the phone so we can get strog.
mmm... STROGGGG......
me: mmmm.. who wouldn't buy strog if a van of it came down the street
Emma: hell yeah! bring it on!
me: I think we've got a winning idea, here
Emma: indeed we do. The DinnerVan.
me: we could even do a menu, so the people on our route would know what we were bringing each night
Emma: Like meals on wheels, but for everyone!
me: yeah!
Emma: On a complete change of topic, I'm hoping to get volunteer work at the RSPCA shelter down the road
me: or, like light and easy, except we don't cater to individuals. We've got strog on Wednesday, and if you want it, you can order it, and we'll bring it, and you can buy it
Emma: yeah. And there's nothing light about it. Possibly "the-way-grandma-made-it-with-lots-of-fat-and-lard'n'easy
me: and even if you don't order it, you can still stop us on the street and buy it
mmmmm... lard'n'easy
Emma: ROFL! That's funny as all hell!
That's it - we
me: The Lard'n'Easy Dinner Van
Emma: 're Larn'n'Easy.
choice. and I can't type
me: yarrrr
Emma: pirate dinners - Lard'n'Easy
I crack myself up
me: "Arrrrrrr!! Get ye some Larrrrd'n'Easy!! tonight"

Captain Co-Founder of Larrrrd'n'Easy! Bringer of Pirate Goodness since 'ought five, d'arrrrrr!!!!


Maritza said...

Love it! There's nothing like having a friend that "gets" you!

Queen of the Squirrels said...

Jeepers. If I'd known you were going to post the entire convo, I would have been wittier.

"Larrrrrrd'n'Easy"... what were we thinking? I mean, really, what were we thinking?