Not a "red" funk, where I snap at everything that moves and loose it at the drop of a hat. A "blue" funk; a depressive funk, where I just want my space (and chocolate, which I haven't been able to find much of). Was writing the following blog yesterday and had it saved as a draft:
Allow Me My Small Session of ComplaintsThings I Miss (aka: things that take some getting used to):
- I miss the dark. It is never completely dark. Lights are on everywhere, outside and in the hallway.
- I miss the stars. Because of so many lights (and the fact that it is often overcast with smoggy clouds) it is never dark enough, or even clear enough if it was dark enough, to see the stars.
- I miss "space". I am never really alone (and, being a borderline introvert, this is a challenge). My room is not my own. There is no "Angela" space.
- I miss space. There are no buildings here less than 4 stories. I miss the suburbs, and grass (there is some grass here, but you are not allowed to walk on it). I miss being able to go to somewhere, like a beach, where you can look in a certain direction and really see nothing but ocean, and often not even have another person in your field of vision. (West Beach is good for this).
- I miss silence. There is nowhere you can go to escape this. The best you can get is music through headphones (I desperately need an iPod). Otherwise it's the noise of the factory next door to the dorms. And often the noise of other girls (talking, flip-flopping down the corridor, laughing, showering, doing laundry...)
The first thing I saw when I walked out of the dorm was that the skies had cleared, somewhat.
The second thing I saw was a half-full moon.
The third thing I saw was the single star in the sky. And more came out (very faintly) as I went for my run.
O.K., so it was probably a planet. O.K., so it was nothing compared to the night sky I saw at Tinty. O.K., so the factory is still blowing and hissing and thumping away, and nothing else has changed.
But I saw a star!! (Allow me my small victories).
The stars had all disappeared behind cloud and glow from all the lights by the time I had finished my run.